Picking Up The Pieces

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In between a mess and a blessings is where I stand. Approaching year 42 trying to get my life back in order. Let me be honest my shit was never in order. I can spell it use it in a sentence, but don’t expect me to define it for you. Than I realized that definition is different for everyone. For the rest of this year and beyond I will be counting my blessings. Even if I am thanking the Creator for the same ones daily. During spring break he was blessing me monetarily. Me being the person that I am I started to share and quick as it came it was gone. I stated that these next few articles are going to be raw and real my truths.

I have never been good when it comes to finances, saving, budgeting and I can’t understand why.

I don’t know why I like spending money?…..But it makes me feel good!!!!

Spending money makes me feel important, long before I became a mom this was an issue.

It feels hella good when whatever my daughter ask for be it an item, shopping at Sephora, or going to one of her favorite restaurants I can afford to do it. What doesn’t feel good is when I can’t. Or when I can’t afford anything, that really hurts. Scripture says ask and our shall receive, but it also says God helps those who help themselves. Here lately I haven’t been doing my part. I am praying to be a good steward over what he already provides me with and that isn’t working out well for me at all. As my Mama use to say broke, busted, and disgusted damn sure can’t be trusted. Sadly I can’t be trusted to manage well.

I Can’t Understand It….

Majority of all the women I grew up around, the major part of my village are great with their funds. Excellent savers , budgeting making it last. I honestly want that for myself. I am knee deep in debt and I am not even 5 feet tall, that math is definitely not matching. Over this past week I have been trying to figure out how to file for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Mind you I don’t own shit but the clothes that be on my back. All these installment apps on these websites don’t make it any easier. I’m a 80s baby and often my mama had to put certain things on layaway to make sure we had everything we needed.

I Have To Show God I Mean What I Say…..

Prayers with out action isn’t getting me anywhere. Everytime payday comes its like it never showed up. My Mama did it I gotta do it too. This is bigger than me its for my innocent daughter who didn’t ask to be here. It’s not just about giving her what her heart desires, it’s about always being able to provide for the both of us. Our village is getting older and older, once there gone there’s no safety net, no cushion. Besides whatever birthday festivities I fund for myself next month, I am cracking down. I have to go back to bringing everything, I mean everything to work. No treating myself to lattes, I will be bringing my home made ones. I don’t always eat lunch but I will bring a small bowl of something healthy. Something that wont give me the itis, some healthy snacks and get back to juicing.

2026 Is NOT Done Yet….

It’s still enough time to accomplish some great savings goals.

I have to sit down and look at my budget. I need to record everything like I use to. Everything that comes in my account, extras you name it. I have to set the example for my daughter. Truth be told she’s understanding savings better than me. Saving her allowance and spending everyone else money. I can’t say I can’t do it if I can buy an almost $8 latte.

If you guys have any budgeting, saving hacks and tricks please do share what works for you. All advice and suggestions are very much appreciated!!!!

Until the next time….

XOXO,

Vaniti